Life Interrupted My Story Before It Even Began

Have you ever felt like something happened in your life that changed your whole direction? Or a time when you didn’t even understand the meaning of life, and everything suddenly stopped?

When life changes suddenly, it hurts. When things don’t go as planned, it feels confusing and heavy.

But what if you don’t even know what life is supposed to be… how to live it… and still everything gets interrupted?

In that situation, a person will only make mistakes – and that’s what usually happens, right?

Before I Could Start Living… Life Stopped me.

I was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s lymphoma ( Cancer ) at the age of 16. I was just a 16-year-old girl trying to understand this problem. I was scared, but I still had no idea how much it would affect my life.

Six months after taking admission in 11th standard, I was diagnosed with cancer.

At first, we thought these were just normal nodes or a small mass, so I went to the doctor without any tension, with my own little fantasy – that for the first time in my life, I would get stitches. Excited…nervous… completely lost in my own thoughts that I was going to get stitches.

My Aai (Mother) kept telling me not to go outside with the bandage, saying it doesn’t look good and all that..( maybe she already had a fear that these nodes could be something dangerous).

But I was unaware of all this, excited to enjoy with my friends. I used to send my friends pictures of my bandage.

I was just happy thinking that finally, for a few days, I would just lie in bed, eat, watch TV, use unlimited phone, enjoy… and after some days, everything would be normal again – completely unaware of everything, lost in my own fantasy.

The Day My Life Paused Without Warning.

And when we went to the doctor to remove the bandage and for a routine check-up…

(that day something else also happened which felt very strange to me… my father didn’t come with us… I couldn’t understand at all why he wasn’t coming with us).

then I thought, it’s just a simple bandage removal, so maybe that’s why he didn’t come…

The doctor’s assistant removed my bandage.

When I started going into the doctor’s cabin with my Aai, the doctor didn’t let me come inside and called only my Aai in. I felt maybe something serious was there… maybe I would need a bigger operation or even get admitted. These thoughts started coming into my mind.

Then we left the hospital and sat in the bus, I noticed tears in my mom’s eyes. Her eyes were very red. I thought maybe a big operation would be needed to remove those nodes, and that’s why she was sad. Maybe she was thinking about what all is happening to her little girl. I didn’t ask her anything, I just stayed quiet.

After some time, I got a seat next to an uncle and sat down. He saw the stitches on my neck
and asked what they were for. I simply told him that there were some nodes in my neck, so these four stitches were done to check that.

Then he directly said to me, “You know, nodes in the neck can mean cancer… nothing like that came in your reports, right?” For a moment, I froze.

And I quickly told him, “No, all my reports are normal. I don’t have cancer. These are just normal nodes.”

Next the uncle said, “okay, then it’s fine,” and his stop came, so he got down and left.

But by then, I had understood everything. I also understood why my father didn’t come with us to the hospital… because he already knew what could be in the reports.

I understood why the doctor didn’t let me come inside the cabin. I understood why there were tears in my mother’s eyes, and why her voice was becoming heavy.

At that moment, it suddenly clicked in my mind… “heee Deva… I have cancer?”

Even after understanding everything, I chose to ignore it. I kept telling myself, “No, this is not possible… cancer and me? No… something this bad can’t happen to me.”

Still, after realizing everything, I didn’t ask anyone anything. I didn’t ask a single question, and I didn’t even have the courage to open my reports and check.

Because I didn’t want to see my belief getting proved wrong.

At home, there were always whispers… talking quietly, hiding things from me. I could understand it all.

But still, I kept ignoring everything on purpose… because I didn’t want my fantasy to break.

And one day, suddenly at night, packing started happening secretly, without telling me anything.

My father came to me with a pan, he gave it to me to eat, and said, “Beta, wake up early tomorrow morning, we have to go to Nashik.”

The moment I heard this, my belief and hope completely broke. No one told me anything, no one explained anything, but I understood… that I really had cancer.

I didn’t want anyone to see my tears, I didn’t want anyone to know that I already knew the truth.

So I went into the washroom turned on the tap, and cried… a lot… a lot… a lot…

After that, I wiped my tears and went to sleep.

I didn’t ask anyone anything about my cancer. What type of cancer it was, which hospital we were going to, what kind of treatment would happen, how many days it would take… when, where, why… I didn’t ask anything at all.

Because I didn’t want to accept this reality.

And at just 16 years old, when other girls were enjoying new colleges, new friends, parties, boyfriends, movies, picnics…

I was standing at the hospital gate, looking up and reading the board… with big bold letters written on it: “Cancer Center.”

“Life Changed Overnight… This Is How I Survived It”

Life had not even fully started, and suddenly it stopped. Even today, it still feels interrupted. But I am still moving forward with one hope— that one day I will fix everything with my willpower.

I have been trying to do that till now.

From this “life interrupts,” I understood one thing clearly. It is okay if life changes direction. It is okay if life suddenly stops. But it is only okay if you still have hope in your heart, a desire to do something, a dream, or a goal.

These dreams and hopes give us the strength to come out of difficult situations. They do not let us give up. They do not let us break from inside. Instead, they push us to live, and we actually start listening to them and keep moving forward.

Just like me, this one small hope— that one day I will fix everything— has kept me alive till today. It is the only reason I can forget my pain, leave everything behind, and still try to live my life with some happiness.